Late in September, I found a lump in my breast. I am only 34, this shouldn't happen to me. I was taking a bath & found it by total accident. I don't believe in real "accidents," I believe I felt it for a reason, but I was not on a mission to do my monthly breast exam is what I mean. The 1st thing I did was go into total denial. Ignore it & pray that tomorrow it isn't there & you only felt a fluke. But on day 2 and day 3 it was still there, I knew it wasn't good. I made an appt. with my mid.wife, who referred me to have an ultra.sound and a mammogram. After both of those were conducted, the radiologist said she believed I had what was called a fibroadonema. This is just a fatty tumor that is very very common & does not require surgery. Although, she wanted me to have a biopsy just to confirm the diagnosis. So I had a biopsy the next week. I would rather give birth again than go through that. Matt passed out & almost did when it was over. They numbed me, but you can still feel everything, so to speak. After taking 4 needle biopsy's of the tumor, they implant a small marker so this lump with show up as "dealt with" in any future mammograms I might have. Do you know what an 8 inch titanium needle with a marker on the end of it feels like? And the sound a titanium marker makes when it is being dis.lodged from a titanium rod? It's a TERRIBLE noise. And a weird feeling to not be able to really feel the pain, but know & feel the vibrations in you. So that was all done. Another mammogram was done to make sure the marker was in place. (I didn't even want to think about the fact of what might happen if it wasn't in the right place). Then we had to wait for the biopsy to come back. (In the middle of this nightmare going on, I got an abscess in my tooth & needed to have a root canal done. I will always remember this because I was numb when I came home & called the breast center to get my results. The results were in & this tumor was not fibroadonema! It was a a phyllodes tumor?? The nurse said this isn't a big deal either, but we do want to take this out so the DR will call you to schedule surgery. I immediately got on the computer to see what this tumor was about. Scary. I cried & cried. The Dr called & brought me back down. I had a benign tumor (or so we hope), that is relatively small, actually there is 2 of them but they can't tell if they are connected or not until they remove them via surgery. So surgery was scheduled for 2 weeks out. That was last Friday. I had surgery & now I am waiting again, for more results. There is a chance the biopsy could come back something different than the tumor is. And they also did not biopsy the 2nd tumor, so we could be dealing with something different than the 1st tumor. All very scary & I am holding my breath & praying until I get the results this week.
So the month of October has been a complete blur to me. I do know that it was/is breast cancer awareness month. I am reminded everywhere. Our house has always been big supporters of breast cancer...we do the walk every year in remembrance of a good friend who was about my age with 2 little girls that lost her life to breast cancer 3 years ago. I will continue to support the cause, only now
I know some more deep thoughts & emotions that go along with the fight.
Also in the middle of these appointments, Morgen had her 1st dentist appointment. She did great. She let the Dr. examine her teeth & brush them too. JaCee had her check.up at the same time & didn't fair so well. She has terrible baby teeth. They are so soft & break so easy. She has 2 teeth that have broke to the gum line & the DR wants to put crowns on them. I have put this on the back burner as this requires sedation, etc and I'm not ready for all of this until my ordeal is (hopefully) over.
I will be so happy tonight to end with some trick. or treating & bid farewell to this October. I am praying for a much better November.
Here are the 2 little rays of sunshine that brought a smile to my face every day of the month, regardless of how sad or scared I was....
